I'm lame because I've lived in the Bay Area most of my life, and never did San Francisco cool stuff like the Pride parade, or the San Francisco Grand Prix. But today I am less lame than I was yesterday, because today I finally went to my first Folsom Street Fair.
The Fair is six or seven blocks of leather-clad fetishistic fun with the needle way into the gay zone. It was a gorgeous sunny day, and the street was packed with short, tall, fat, skinny, hairy, shaved, pierced, tatooed, drunk, sober, hot, and horny people of all ages; some of the best people watching I've ever experienced. I didn't take any pictures because I forgot my camera, but there are plenty of pics out there on the interwebs at places like flickr. There were lots of assless chaps and full on naked people... I haven't seen this much cock since, well, ever.
And it was great! I don't think I'm going to don a latex getup, and I'm certainly not going to send away for a fucking machine (despite the exciting demonstration we saw today), but it sure makes me happy to know that once a year you can roll down to Folsom street and let it all hang out. If you're really into this stuff, then you can meet up with your people, kinda like when we go to the Italian Concorse every year and you hear everyone talking about the subtle differences in the twelve cylinder Ferrari engines on all the 250 models, except today they were talking about lubrication of a different sort.
Michael and I invited our parents to the Fair, but surprise surprise, they said no. On one hand, I can understand... this certainly isn't for everyone. But on the other hand, what's the big deal? Watching a six foot tall gay man sporting assless chaps and a handlbar mustache isn't scary, it's just odd. It's not like anyone is going to attack and get gay juice on you. It's like the characters at Disneyland - fun to look at, and you can try to hug them if you want, but they're not going to make you gay or anything.
The Fair does bring up a few logistical issues that I couldn't help but ponder as I wandered. For example:
Transportation to the Fair for certain fetishes. There were lots of folks there wearing sunglasses and a cock ring, and that's about it. I didn't see any naked people with backpacks, so they weren't stowing their clothes somewhere. Sure, you could drive, but during an event like this, where streets are blocked off and a ton of people go, parking must be a bitch. You could ride a bike, but then you're the crazy naked guy on the bike, distracting drivers, and risking quite a lot of road rash. SF is a really progressive town, but you can't just walk around naked, even if you seem to be on your way to the one place where you're walking around naked is perfectly acceptable. You could take Muni, but seriously, I'd have hygiene reservations about sitting on those seats even if I was coated in Purell and wearing kevlar pants. So how'd all those naked people get there?
How many swats in a spanking? There was a booth that offered spanking, with the proceeds going to charity. The man said it was one swat for a dollar, or five dollars for a complete spanking. I was raised by parents who don't believe in spanking (the children or each other) so can someone please tell me how many swats there are in a spanking? I was all set to pay the man, but I didn't know if five bucks for the whole shebang was an ass kicking (so to speak) deal, or if I should go with a few swats for a few dollars.
Drawing the line with role playing and domination. There were lots of folks that did the domination thing (sorry, I really don't know the correct terminology here). Dog roles were big; so there would be a man or woman with a mask and a leash being led by a man or a woman. The roles were well defined, and if that's fun for you, by all means. And it's all fun and games during the Fair and in the bedroom, but it seems to me that if you're really dedicated, you'd do this sorta thing all the time. But there must be some limits, I mean, if you're off to Trader Joes, you can't bring out the gimp. A half naked man-dog in a leather outfit would be a shopping cart traffic disaster. So are there lots of domination people aching to let their true selves out in public? Can't wait to escape the torturous confines of THE MAN in outside world so they can get back home and be led around by the neck and hung from the ceiling? That must be really frustrating.
