Saturday, January 27, 2007

Saturday

I managed to escape the relentless savage of my own sloth, the warm embrace of Ikea sheets ("What's the thread count?" asked Diana. "Don't be a snob", I replied), and mild depression caused by frigid temperatures, and go out into the world today. More specifically, I made it into my 'hood, Ottensen, found a cafe, ate a pizza, and drank 0.2 liter of Coca Cola (mmmm, capitalism tastes delicious).

A few tables away, there's a pair of parents with a little kid, and the kid has been coughing for thirty minutes minutes straight. And not little dry throat, it's-that-time-of-the-year, something's-going-around coughing, but serious, phlegmy, choking on a fishbone, Heimlich maneuver, hocking-up-green-goo coughing. There is something inside this child, it's gooey, it wants out now, and it's trying to make a run for it via his esauphogus. I guess he isn't choking, because he's still managing to shovel pancakes in to his face while not turning blue. But goddamn. Either this kid hasn't yet learned how to swallow, or he's developing cystic fibrosis right here in front of everyone. And the parents are just looking right past it and into their newspapers. And I feel like yelling: oh my god, sweep his throat, smack his back, tell him to raise his arms above his head for crying out loud. 'Cause this has got to stop. When child services arrives, I will not defend you!

In other news, GODDAMN, it's been cold lately. We were several weeks into an oddly warm winter (temps in the 40s, which is no big deal if you've got a good coat) when suddenly, one afternoon, it dropped to 19. 19! That's cold. The difference between 40 and 19 is 21. But obviously, the difference manifests itself in other ways...

Water: you wash your hands in 40 degree water; you drop 19 degree water into a drink to keep it cool.

Bike riding: 40 degrees means you wear gloves, and a coat over your t-shirt. When you arrive, you're sweaty and you have to take off the coat immediately. 19 degrees means you add another layer in between, add a scarf, and put a hat under the helmet, and when you arrive you stand next to the radiator and wait patiently for you fingers to thaw out so you can take off the jacket.

Words, capitalizations, and punctuation: Jeez turns into FUCK, and you add an exclamation point, as in: FUCK, it's cold!

And it snowed for real for the first time all season (apparently it snowed a bit in December while I was gone, but it only lasted a few minutes). As usual, it was pretty for a few minutes, and then it was a slushly, muddy, messy, icy pain in the ass. I just can't get past my cynicism towards snow; sure it's pretty, and it's neat how it falls so quietly... and then when you have to leave your insulated office and do anything out doors, it's a thousand times more annoying than it should be. I never think of nature as vindictive, except for when it snows, melts, and freezes. I've fallen off my bike twice; you shouldn't need metal spikes in your bike tires, that's just not right.

But whatever, I'll figure it out. The sun is out today, so that makes it a lot easier to cope with the cold.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

It's finally getting cold.


It's finally getting cold.
Originally uploaded by dpieracci.
Well, the temperature finally got to where it's supposed to be at this time of the year. 19 is a lot colder than 40, and there was ice on roofs and cars. This morning was the coldest bike ride so far; my fingers and toes are still feeling it.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

I knew it!

From the Häagen-Dazs entry on Wikipedia:

Contrary to common belief, the name is not European; it is simply two made-up words meant to look European to American eyes. This is known in the marketing industry as foreign branding ... The playful spelling devices in the name invoke the spelling systems used in several European countries. "ä" (an Umlaut) is used in the spelling of German, Finnish, Slovak and Swedish language, doubled vowel letters spell long vowels in Finnish, Dutch, and occasionally German; and zs corresponds to /ʒ/ (as in vision) in Hungarian.
I knew it! Partly because I think someone told me once. Anyway, it's still delicious, but not as delicious as Ben & Jerry's (which, by the way, was named after two real people).

Welcome, Sabine

One of the things I like best about Sabine is her name. See, in America we would simply say suh-BEAN, which gets the job done, but it's a bit, well, flaccid. It kinda just ker-PLUNKS right out of your mouth. But here In Germany, where the Germans speak German and switch the S's to Z's and give every vowel its very own syllable, suh-BEAN becomes zuh-BEE-nuh. Mmmmm, now we're talking! Go ahead and say it out loud - and then purr like a cat who just found a sunbeam. Yummy. And if you don't think she deserves such a sultry name, then you must not have seen her shoes last night.

Sidenote: Some of her friends call her BEE-nuh for short, which is adorable, but impossible for me because BEE-nuh sounds way too much like BEE-ner, or beaner, which is what you call Mexican kids when you want to get your ass kicked in PE class. I tried it once, and thought Sonny Gonzales was going to fly into Hamburg just to spit on my locker again. We'll have none of that.

Anyways, last night we celebrated Zuh-BEE-nuh's thirtieth birthday at a cool little bar in Eimsbüttel. It was fun, and we drank and hung out and watched a little slide show put together by her hip photographer boyfriend. So welcome, sweet Zuh-BEE-nuh, to thirty. We're glad to have you.

Oh, I went to bed at 5am (how you like me now?) and slept 'til noon. Rock 'n roll, baby.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

4 Things to be happy about today

1. On January 1 a new rule in Germany went into effect that allowed... wait for it... stores to stay open as long as they want! Outstanding. It's like they read my mind, and I'd personally like to welcome Germany to the nineties, on behalf of all Americans. The change meant that I could swing by the local Rewe and pick up some muesli, yogurt, chocolate, and Pringles (they're like America all over my mouth).

2. The first half of the day was busy, but the second half was relaxed. So my partner Ricardo and I became Flickr friends (aw, group hug!), and took pictures of what's inside our bags for the What's in your bag? pool. I've always wanted to do that, and I don't know why it took so long. For some weird Web2.0/RealityTV/OCD reason it feels good to organize the contents of my (favorite) bag, take a picture and share it with the world. Maybe because I really like that bag and most of the stuff inside. Like that all-in-one tool... I love knowing that I can adjust all the important stuff on my bike AND build Ikea furniture at all times. As my old friend Craig would say, titties.

3. While we were at it, I took a pic of our office, and Ricardo posted it. Gee whiz I love standing on desks.

4. I'm in our kitchen, sitting on a chair at the little blue kitchen table. I know that doesn't sound like a very big deal, but it feels like forever since I've had a place to sit down with my computer and write something (outside of work of course). I don't have a desk or a chair in my room. And until Tuesday night, the kitchen was empty and waiting for Ikea to deliver. But then they did, and now there's places for stuff and the washing machine works and we can boil water and I can sit in a chair and life is grand. It's the simple things, man.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year

Just about to head out to get a bite to eat after a very lazy New Year's Day. I put on my jacket and hat, grabbed my iPod, set it to shuffle and hit play. What popped up? Babyshambles, The 32nd of December. Nice.