Sunday, December 31, 2006

YouTubeTastic

I updated the video of me shaving off the beard... here it is in all its glory. I think the music adds a nice touch, and I'm ready to stop fooling around with it now. I still don't know why it's all fuzzy and gray in the beginning... that stuff is showing up after my Mp4 file is uploaded and YouTube-ified. Anyone know how to fix that?





Friday, December 29, 2006

New Years Resolutions

So I asked my friend Erik if he had any New Years resolutions, and he said "No way man. I don't believe in that shit."

The silly thing (one of the many, anyway) about NYRs is that when I write them, I actually think that I'll refer back to them as the new year progresses. Like I'll be at a bakery in October, and point at the marzapan/almond/darkchocolate/death bar, but just as the lady in the paper hat reaches for it with her thongs, I'll be like No, wait! I made a new years resolution to eat less fat and fewer carbs! I'll just chew on my lips instead*. As if.

Stop using my brakes so much. I took my trusty bicycle to the shop last week for some maintenance. The rear wheel had three broken spokes, and had gone all wobbly. While he was checking things over, bike shop dude Ricky said my brake pads were shot, and it was definitely time for a new pair. Ah, so that's where all those scraping noises were coming from. I've only had the bike for like eight months, and I've already gone through a set of brake pads? That sees fast to me, but it's not entirely unexpected. I've always been heavy on brakes, literally and metaphorically speaking; riding my bike around town, going through life in general, I always want to ease off the throttle and onto the brakes just in case... stick to my comfort zone, well witnin the performance envelope. And more often than not, it turns out to be unnecessary. How many times have I said to myself You shoulda a just relaxed and gone with the flow? Many times. So I resolve to let it flow a little more. Not too much, I don't want to get run over by a bus or ride off a cliff or anything. But really, let's not make life (or commuting) any more difficult and encumbered than it already is. Let go of the brakes. Relax. Go with the flow. Glide forward.

Learn German. When I was bouncing around Europe for school, I didn't have to learn the language. What's the point, I would ask myself, if I'm just gonna leave in three months anyway? If I felt a little isolated, I could retreat to my English speaking friends and classmates. But this time, it's long term. I'm in Germany, surrounded by Germans speaking German, and I gotta get with the program. It's gonna suck ass, but the alternative is sad and pathetic and kind of embarassing. So. I will go to class and do my best. I will allow myself to fuck up and fumble in front of a live studio audience of native speakers. I will keep in mind that they want to understand me just as much as I want to make myself understood. I will learn German.

Less stewing, more dealing. When something bad happens, I stew. I think and consider and contemplate and weigh and worry, and nine times out of ten, none of that shit helps. What would help? To make some phone calls, ask some questions, get some info. Can't move on unless you deal with what you're dealt. So I'm gonna do better with that in 2007.

Write, compose, sing, record a real rock song. Recently I've met all these people who are musicians in their spare time, and have recording studios in their basement/attic/spareroom/whatever. I'd love to write some songs and put them together. If I could write some music that makes me happy, that would rock. If it makes the audience happy, even better.

Write more stories. What can I say? Practice makes perfect. Or less sucky, at least. I should post small stories here for the world to see.

Shave off the beard, post a video on YouTube. Oops, just did that.


* I will never make this one of my  new year's resolution unless ordered to do so by a physician.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

2006

Things that happened to me in 2006 (in no particular order):

Lived in London, Hamburg, San Jose and Hamburg.

Got a job, officially starting my new career. Hard to believe that two years ago I was waylaid in cubicle hell wishing I'd get laid off.

Learned a lot about advertising and how to write. And I still need to learn so much more.

Worked with really great people like Grant, Sebastian, Erik, Jens, and Pablo. Good people, good brains, good ideas. Fucking great art directors.

Fell in love, got my heartbroken, lived to tell about it.

Made a whole bunch of new German friends.

Moved to Europe, permanently. I live in Europe!

Bought a nice bicycle, and officially re-integrated cycling into my life.

Got hit by a car while riding that nice bicycle. The bike was fine. I was fine after three weeks or so of hobbling and healing.

Bought a lot of really cool clothes, including the most expensive pair of jeans ever. Fucking Diesel. I never cared about clothes until the last two years or so... but these days I really dig my wardrobe.

Turned 30. Oddly, I'm having more luck with women now than at any other age so far.

Rediscovered the joys of Gran Turismo, playing catch with good friends, and riding my bike at night.

Saw Babyshambles and Tool in concert. Babyshambles was excellent - Pete actually showed up, was only a little drugged out. The performance was raw and honest. Tool wasn't as good as it should have been. Sonically spotless, but they felt disengaged... like they'd rather be at home watching TV.

Reconnected with the fabulous Romines, the ever beautiful Cassie, and my old friend Phil.

Experienced World Cup Germany, in Germany. It was great! The world descended upon Hamburg (and a bunch of other German cities) and partied for three weeks straight. The German team did so well - finishing up in third place overall - and the whole thing was fabulous.

Travelled to Berlin, Frankfurt, Amsterdam, San Francisco. That's not really enough though... I need to travel more.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Welcome to LAX.

After 30 minutes in LA:

Celebrity Sightings: 1

So I was about to turn left and exit the 747 that carried me from London to LA, when I looked up and there was Jack Black. He looked just like he does in pictures - short, stout, scruffy face, Nirvana t-shirt. He said something about finding the "coat check" (he wasn't talking to me). He looked at me, I looked at him and smiled, and went on my way.

Tiny Dogs carried in Small bags: 2

Come on people. That's not pet ownership, that's a fetish.

How to tell you're at an American airport:

When the ticket agent tells you how to get to your gate, and her instructions include the phrase "Turn left at the Chilis"

Friday, December 15, 2006

I got so drunk last night!

That's a sentence I don't get to use too often, so I'm going to use it as many times as I can in this post, 'cause man, I got so drunk last night!

I got so drunk last night! It was the Miami Ad School end-of-quarter party, and it was at this cool club on the Reeperbahn. The place must have been an apartment building in a former life, because, well, it totally looked like an apartment building. They took each floor, painted it with heavy duty paint, mounted funky fixtures and solid furniture (hard to break, easy to clean vomit off of) installed some speakers and opened for business. It was a great place to get drunk, and I got so drunk last night.

The drinks were free at first, and that always makes me realize how much cost gets in the way of my intoxication. I just can't stand to watch money flow out of my wallet for something I don't want that badly. But if the drinks are free, it's bottoms up baby! I got so drunk last night! I started off with gin and tonic, which I like because it's just lemony and fizzy enough for me to fool myself into believing that it's tasty and refreshing. Plus, it's not beer. Plus, gin is strong. I got so totally drunk last night! I had two gin and tonics, and three shots of Jägermeister.

I haven't found too many liquors that are as divisive as Jägermeister. People either love it or hate it because of the flavor (though both will drink it until they pass out naked in a corner, so whatever). You have to like black licorice*, and that's the polarizing part. I've been a big fan ever since Amsterdam, where black licorice is plentiful and varied. They actually have candy that's licorice-y, and salty. Which seems so galactically fucked up, until I tried it a few times (it takes a few times), and I started to like it. So Jägermeister is like really sweet licorice that fucks you up. Excellent. I got so drunk last night.

I got so drunk last night! But I don't blame the Jägermeister as much as I blame Teresa. She's so damn cute and flirty and completely off limits to me for a number of reasons I won't go into here. But she's fun to talk to, and she goaded me into drinking shot after shot after shot (literally - we had three... I'm such a fucking lightweight). I got so drunk last night! For an hour or two I could barely stand up and I had to lean against things like the radiator, the bar, the wall, Sebastian, it was crazy. I got so drunk last night!

I got so drunk last night, it was crazy. Everything was funny, like someone turned up the comedy dial. All my cares and worries faded away so I could concentrate on important things like looking down Teresa's shirt  and not falling on my ass. It was awesome. I got so drunk last night.

I got so drunk last night! I got home at 3:30 or so, still tipsy, stomach all gurgly. I felt kinda like I was going to throw up, but I wasn't sure if that was because I was going to throw up, or because I couldn't stop thinking about throwing up. I slept restlessly, and ended up waking up before my alarm clock and getting to work earlier than I have for the last three weeks, because I was so paranoid about over sleeping and showing up way too late because I got so drunk last night.

I got so drunk last night!


* I just realized that the term black licorice is redundant. All licorice is black licorice. Red licorice isn't licorice, it's a lie. A sweet, delicious lie.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Vienna here I come


I've been working on headlines for Austrian Airlines today, and I was just doing some research on Vienna. Vienna is, of course, famous for many things including Viennese coffee served in Viennese cafes. Here's a little tidbit on Viennese cafes I found on Wikipedia:

Along with coffee, the waiter will serve an obligatory glass of cold tap water and during a long stay will often bring additional water unrequested.


That's what I'm talking about! Any country that brings me tap water without any attitude automatically gains my love and admiration.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Here's a little test

I've been messing around with different blogging clients lately, and today I'm trying MarsEdit. So far it looks pretty good... let's see if I can actually post with this mofo...

It works!


Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Today's poem

O weather, thou art fickle
makes predicting you a pickle
sure am glad I don't have sickle
cell anemia.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Guten appetit

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CUTE WAITRESS: How do you say, in English, guten appetit?

ME: You don't. But thanks!

When I got to Europe and started eating, I noticed that all Europeans, as soon as your fork is within an inch of the first bite, are compelled to express their devout wish that you love every morsel of the food you're about to eat. At first this bugged the crap out of me; not because I didn't appreciate the sentiment, but more because a) I was usually starvin' like Marvin, and therefore easily annoyed, and b) we just don't do that in America, so I never knew what to say, and I'm so hungry and now I have to think up some sort of response so I don't look like some dolt from the back country of 'Merica.

Of course, in a restaurant in America, the waiter will often say Enjoy your meal after delivering it to your table, and okay, that may be a literal translation of guten appetit. But the meaning isn't the same. In my experience, the waiter has usually turned around and begun to walk away halfway through your, giving it as much impact as the ol' Thanks for shopping with us line, the literal translation of which is Some corporate shill wrote a memo that we should all say this line of BS and I have to say it because that schmuck takes pride in actually coming into the store just so he can fire the poor bastard who forgets to say it and feel good about putting his foot down and preserving the America is grandpa fought for in The Big War.

For six months I worked with the lovely and talented Marta from Espana. We ate together all the time. It was almost like some sort of creative eating disorder:

"I can't think of anything."
"Me neither."
"We're stuck."
"Yes."
"Let's get something to eat."
"Cool."

We got stuck a lot. It's amazing we don't weigh 400 kilos each. But anyway, she always said guten appetit and for the first five months I simply could not think of a good response to this. Thanks! is so one sided, You too! is just too goofy. But I've decided to let go and conform. If you're all seated at the table and one of your fellow eaters says it, the proper thing to do is to repeat it back. When the cute waitress here at Cafe Mango says it, I'm just gonna say thanks. When in Rome...