Random bits of whatever.

1. I wrote this during a recent bout of dating frustration. It's my way of mocking the whole process, and I think it's kinda funny:

Dan, i've reviewed your request with a summit group of my closest friends, and after a thorough examination and exhaustive research, we've compiled this list of 142 reasons why a relationship with you could be a heart wrenching disaster five to ten years down the road. Though potentially pleasurable in the near term, we see an inevitable breakup that would cause short-term heartbreak and might lead to long-term psychological damage and post-traumatic dump disorder. We apologize for any inconvenience. Your request for "a drink, or a maybe a movie" is hereby DENIED.

In my thirty one years, I've gotten a lot of those responses.

2. This guy I know has breath that smells like the inside of my colon. And what's worse than that? He's a close talker. He doesn't just tell you something, he leans in to do it. Which is great way to establish intimacy and make your audience of one feels special. But it's definitely sub-optimal when you have to postpone breathing every time he does it.

3. My partner Ricardo is having his baby today! His frau Anika is doing most of the work, of course, but they're in a hospital right now huffing and puffing and making the baby come out. It's a boy, and his name is Max.

We were having a meeting today and at the end Doerte asked if there was an update. There wasn't, but Henning brought up an interesting question: why is it that when a baby is born, we always report the length and weight? Why not eye color and hair color (if applicable). Doerte, who's had one of her own, said that it's because you can tell a lot about the baby by those two numbers. Bigger means more healthy, small could mean trouble. Also, size tells you how hard the birth was... though I'm not so sure about this one. The whole process is so HOLY CRAP! painful and traumatic that I can't imagine that there's much of a difference between passing a watermelon or a honeydew.